Dog Poo


I knew when I stepped in the dog poo at 3 a.m. as a storm tried to lift the roof off of my house, that it was going to be one of those kind of days. ;-) Just so you can laugh along with me… I jump up, listening for tornado sounds, and sirens… Hear something weird Parker’s room, step in dog poo on the way. Hop back to the boy’s bathroom, it’s pitch black, electricity is out. Try to do my best in the dark. Wash foot in tub. I want to kill dog (it’s the oldest one and he knows better. But I think the storm scared the, um, poo out of him). Pray I have no after effects and head downstairs in search of a flashlight. Get back upstairs, flashlight goes out, but not before I find dog’s mistake and make sure my foot is in the all clear. (I’m sorry, there’s just nothing grosser.) The youngest was sleeping through the loudest friggin’ alarm you’ve ever heard. (I swear he sleeps the sleep of the dead). When the electricity went out the alarm went off. He turns it off, and is asleep again before head hits pillow. (So not fair.) During all of this, my oldest has to head off to work and puts the little pup in my room in his kennel. It’s almost four now, and as I climb back into bed praying for a few hours sleep, since I had one of my bad nights and didn’t get to sleep until 2, I hear another weird noise. Pup is puking in his kennel. Sigh. I get up, pull out his blankets and dump in the wash. Realize since lights are out, can’t really wash, close lid. Take pup downstairs to his play pen and toss him (gently, I promise) in. Call husband because he’s on the road and I’m worried about him. He almost drives off the road laughing when I explain all that’s happened. It’s almost time to get youngest up, so I decide to forget trying to sleep. Realize driving him to school probably isn’t safe since I’ve only had about 45 minutes of sleep. We decide he’ll take one of the cars to school and drive himself since he’s legal. He leaves, I climb into bed. Ten minutes later the phone rings. “Mom, I can’t get the car to start and I’m at the donut shop.” Laugh hysterically, tell him not to worry I’ll be there in a minute. I honestly have no idea what I had on the bottom half but I did notice when I returned home that my shirt was on inside out. Parker didn’t say a word. So that’s what happened to me before 7 this morning, and quite honestly the day sort of went downhill from there. ;-) Sigh. BUT I’m laughing about it all and that’s what matters. And after seeing all the damage the storm caused, and hearing from friends with broken windows, smashed cars and terrified children, I realize my day isn’t so bad.

What I want to know today is what you to do escape the real world? Play video games, watch certain movies, go for run (you people who do that are sick I tell you, sick.)? What do you do to stay sane. :-)


About Candace Havens

Bestselling author Candace Havens has written six novels for Berkley including, Charmed & Dangerous, Charmed & Ready, Charmed & Deadly, Like A Charm, The Demon King and I and Dragons Prefer Blondes. Her new venture is writing for the Blaze line of Harlequin. Those books include Take Me If You Dare, She Who Dares, Wins, Truth and Dare, and The Model Marine. She is also in the anthology Spirited, and the proceeds go to help literacy. Her books have received nominations for the RITA's, Holt Medallion and Write Touch Reader Awards. She is the author of the biography Joss Whedon: The Genius Behind Buffy and a contributor to several anthologies. She is also one of the nation's leading entertainment journalists and has interviewed countless celebrities including Tom Hanks, Nicolas Cage, Tom Cruise, George Clooney and many more. Her entertainment columns can be read in more than 600 newspapers across the country. Candace also runs a free online writing workshop for more than 1800 writers, and teaches comprehensive writing class. She does film reviews with the Dorsey Gang on New Country 96.3, and is the President of the Television Critics Association.

3 responses »

  1. What do I do to escape “the real world”? You mean besides laugh like a loon reading your account of this morning’s fun-n-games? I go write on something that’s as far away from the current situation as possible. It also helps when, like now, said “as far away from the current situation as possible” is also a piece that’s on short deadline.

    Seriously, glad to hear you passed safely, if not comfortably, through the weather. We lost a few limbs and one whole side of the backyard fence, like many here in Plano, but roof, windows, and skylights are all intact.

  2. read, surf the internet, I like walking but I tell you what freaks people out and Stephen hates it when I do it…..I like to iron (mainly sheets; no seams really). Ironing for an hour or two is relaxing. Not ironing things you might burn, that are needed 5 minutes ago, but just random stuff since I rarely iron, that is calming. Stroke, stroke, and man ironed sheets are the bomb in bed. So smooth and nice, even nicer than my nice sheets normally are. My husband thinks I am nuts but for years this has calmed me. I usually watch TV while doing it. I also like to sew quilts but more free hand sutff, not super precise things. Stiring fudge works, too.

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