My breasts scared the hell out of me today. Okay, I know this is TMI, but I don’t care. I promise I have a reason for sharing this… So I had a mammogram last week. On Friday night I received a letter that there was an abnormality so I needed to come back in. You can imagine how my weekend went. I made an appointment for today, grateful they could get me in so quickly. Then I was suspicious because you usually have to wait at least two months to get in. It must be really bad if they want me back so fast. I told myself.
So I get there. Get half naked and walk in to the room. They show me the spots from the previous tests. That weren’t there a year ago. One on each breast, and my heart stopped. I’d had shooting pains for a couple of months, but hadn’t felt anything weird. Of course they told me it was “probably nothing to worry about but we need to check it out.” So more tests.
In the ten minutes I’m waiting to hear back from the radiologists I go thru every emotion. There really was something there. They had showed it to me. What would I do? I started to cry, and then decided it wasn’t worth it. I know so many breast cancer survivors and I would be one to join those ranks. I can handle anything I told myself. Then I had a complete breakdown, sans tears. Then I tried to make myself laugh. Since it was both boobs, maybe I could get reconstructive surgery and get the perky ones I really wanted. :-) This is how my brain works. She comes back in and says they want to do a sonogram. I act brave, but at this point I’m freaking out in a big way on the inside, and at the same time telling myself to stop being so damn dramatic.
So we do the sonogram and she starts pushing a bunch of buttons and making markers. “I know you aren’t supposed to tell me, but what do you think you see, because I’m getting close to freak out mode.” I told her.
She laughed. “I know it’s scary but don’t worry. I think what we are seeing are fluid filled cysts, but I have to check with the radiologists.”
More waiting. She came back and told me no worries, it was cysts. I wanted to kiss her, but I refrained. I wanted to cry when I got to my car, but a nasty storm was coming and I didn’t have time. I took a deep breath and thanked God and the universe. I also decided I’m perfectly happy with my not-so perfect breasts and I really want to keep them.
So the reason I’m telling you this… Go get a mammogram. Right now. If you’re 30 or more, you should go. I know they say to wait until 35, but don’t. Just go, and always do that monthly check. (Stepping off of soap box now.) I’m taking better care of myself, but let me tell you, the last couple of months have been a big wake up call.
What’s been your scariest health scare? And please don’t tell me about genital herpes, gonorreah (SP) or syphilis, I really don’t want to know gross stuff. But did you have a heart murmur or an unexplained weirdness that happened?